Here's the best joke I know

A man and his dog go into a bar. They sit down and the bartender asks, "What would you like to drink?" The man says, "Give me a white wine, and give my dog a Bud." The bartender says, "Yeah, right." The dog says, "Hey, I want a Bud!" The bartender is astonished! They get their drinks, and the man asks the dog to go across the street to get him a pack of cigarettes. He puts the money in the dog's mouth, the dog jumps off the stool, goes out the door, and across the street. The bartender says, '"That's amazing that your dog talks!" The man says, "Yeah, it surprises everyone." The man goes to the bathroom, comes back, but his dog has not returned. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes, but the dog is not back. The man gets worried, and goes out to find his dog. He sees the dog across the street getting it on with another dog. The man says, "What are you doing?! I never seen you do that before!" The dog goes, "I never had the money before."

John is my favorite Beatle

John was just real. He never held back on his feelings, and was passionate. He seemed to be the most approachable of all of the members, and the funniest. His death is one of the most memorable events to occur during my youth, and it seems like it was yesterday. His faults he laid out for all to see, and he overcame most of them. It was a beautiful gesture for him to step away from music to raise his son, Sean. To see Sean today is to see his father, but he is making his own mark in the world, his own way. He i think is John's greatest legacy.

My vanity plate should say, :) DAMN U

With so much road rage around, this is the most logical thing to have.

Key West, Florida to Seattle, Washington.Lots to see, I Better Charge My Camera Battery

I haven't been to Key West in over twenty years, so I think it may have changed a little. There are a lot of sites I would like to see going westward. Like the Mississippi River, the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, all of California, Jimi Hendrix's Are You Experienced Museum, and of course, Area 51, LOL!!!

A sunflower is a beautiful flower because...

Sunflowers

I like sunflowers because they are big, number one. They automatically make you smile. They yield sunflower seeds, and they respond to the light and warmth of the sun.

Earthquakes Shake Me Up

I think earthquakes are scary because there is no warning, it just happens. Other disasters are frightening, but the fact of the earth moving, abruptly and violently, is too much for me. The amount of damage and possible death over something that lasts for a short period of time, is amazing. I live in Florida, so at least you have a two to three day notice to prepare for a hurricane. Tornadoes, you have a minimal amount of notice, but you do have it, same with tsunamis. Fires, again, you have a chance of escape. But the fact that the earth can snap itself back into place at a fault, and affect a large area of land, and on top of that , cause a tsunami, well, that's enough for me. The thing is, I don't know how many people in Florida know this, but there is a fault that runs through Cuba, so we could have an earthquake here too.

Music sounded better on records

The first record I ever owned had to be from the Jackson Five. Either "ABC," or "The Love You Save." Everything sounded better on a 45 or L.P. The scratches and pops, it was great!

I remember getting twenty dollars a month allowance (hey, back then, that was bank) and walking to J.M.Fields, which was the equivalent of K-Mart, and buying the latest albums.

Back then, we were inventive when it came to playing our defective records. Sometimes, the record would be cracked, so simply squeezing it back together so it was smooth again was all it took. Sometimes the record would skip, or the needle wasn't connecting right. Just tape a couple of pennies to the stylus (the arm that held the needle) and you were good to go! But there was no saving a warped 45 or L.P. Even placing the record between two heavy books could save it.

One was always excited when the album had the lyrics, no more fudging the words! When it came to cleaning my room, the most important thing was to alphabetize my albums. Nothing else mattered. Eight track tapes were cool because the entire album had to be good. Why? Because there was no rewind everything was play and fast-forward. If you missed your favorite song, you would have to walk around the block, or do some kind of chore until it played again. If the tape skipped, place a piece of paper in the slot so it would line up correctly in the player.

"Those were the days , my friend, we thought they'd never end

We'd sing and dance, forever and a day.

We'd spend the night we'd choose, we thought we'd never lose,

Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days!"

What A Difference Eight Years Can Make

The days before the events of September 11, 2001 are telling of where the country was financially, politically, socially, and morally. I have video, mostly from CNN, that chronicles what was happening just prior to the attacks in New York.
The son of Jimmy Hoffa, James P. Hoffa, announces that D.N.A. evidence was found in the car involved in the disappearance of his father. The D.N.A. shows that his presence was in the car driven by Chuck O'Brien at the time of Hoffa's disappearance. Hoffa said his family wants closure. It had been, up to that point, twenty-six years since the elder Hoffa disappeared.
The Dow was down 239.99 points to 9005.85., and the jobless rate rose to 4.9 percent. President Bush claimed the economic slowdown started the prior summer. He said he inherited the failing economy, where the Democrats claim it started six months ago.
Ten to fifteen billion dollars would be dipped from the Social Security surplus by Congress to offset the budget deficit. This was announced by The Budget Director, Mitch Daniels. It must be remembered that Bush was working with numbers from President Clinton's 2001 budget, Bush's doesn't kick in until 2002. However , Bush's tax cuts were submitted in the spring , triggering the slowdown.
Lou Dobbs was the anchor of "Money Line," and reporting calmly. There were 113,000 non-farm jobs lost, and 141,000 manufacturing jobs lost. Elaine Chao, the Bush administration's Labor Secretary, said that the President's tax cut was "very wise and very timely." The National Energy Plan pending in Congress should be considered because it would provide stimulus to the economy. Lou , calmly, disagreed with Chao that the jobless rate steadily increased over the past few mouths, rather than inherited from the previous administration the year before.
Terror attack alerts went up from the State Department coming from "credible" sources. The thought was the attacks would occur at military bases in Japan and South Korea, but the location and time of the attacks were not known.
The Pentagon awarded five billion dollars worth of contracts to companies to assist in the destruction of the former Soviet Union's nuclear arms. The companies were Haliburton, Raytheon, Brown & Root, Betchel National, Parsons Delaware, and the Washington Group International. the contract runs through 2006.
What is weird is at the end of "MoneyLine" broadcast, they show the New York skyline. What is in the center of that majestic sight? The World Trade Center.
Bill Hemmer was still at CNN at this time, hosting CNN First Evening News Live." The jobless numbers for manufacturing was 141,000, making it one million since July of 2001. Trucking lost 8000 jobs, bringing it to 16,000 from march. Hotels 5000 jobs, temporary jobs lost 2000 , making it 400,000 from December 2000. Not all was lost, in the Health Services, 32,000 were gained, oil and gas extraction, up 2000 jobs, up 22,000 since the beginning of 2001.
Michael Jackson surprised the crowds at the Video Music Awards, performing with N'Sync, then preparing for his thirtieth anniversary celebration at Madison Square Garden the following evening. Bill Tuch said that this was a highly anticipated event. This was September 10,2001. All was well in the world, until......

On September 11,2001, our world changed forever. Before 9 A.M. E.S.T., a plane crashed into the west tower of the World Trade Center complex. A Theresa Renault was speaking to Brian Gumbel on CBS News. She said she heard a very loud explosion, then there were flames. During the interview, she exclaimed, "Oh, there's another one!! Another plane just hit!! Oh my god, another plane has just hit!! It hit another building! Flew right into the middle of it! Explosion! OH MY GOD!!! It hit right in the middle of the building!!" Gumbel asks,"This one into the east tower?" "Yes!,yes," replied Renault "Right into the middle of the building! And, right now.. that, definitely looked like it was on purpose." She said it looked like a smaller plane, not a commercial jet. "It was definitely was a smaller plane!"
At 8:24 AM, the AP reported that the F.B.I. was investigating the possibility that the planes were hijacked. The question posed by Brian Williams was who could overwhelm a flight crew, behind a locked cabin, and deliberately fly a plane into the W.T.C.? Then, he showed that the plane was a commercial plane because of the jet engines under the wings.
President Bush makes the announcement that this is an act of "possible terrorism" at 9:32 AM. Ben Laden's name is first mentioned as a possible suspect a minute later. But there was no mention from the F.B.I. that was the case.
Mary Schivano(sic) the former Inspector General for the Department of Transportation, said that this was possible because agencies rely on risk assessment security reports, and they have said that the possibility was low that something like this would happen. The free movement at airports and aviation have always been criticized, and quite frankly, "We allow it to happen." This was an "outrageous" act particularly if there were prior warnings that it would happen.
At 9:39 AM, Mike Miklaszewski of MSNBC, reported that there was an explosion at the Pentagon. Security was evacuating the building. There were no sirens, nor smoke, but the building shook. Interestingly, Miklaszewski said an intelligence officer said that when he saw the coordinated attacks in New York, his advise was to stay away from the outside of the building, "Just in case." Miklaszewski reported that there was a small blast. He saw construction workers running from the building and keeping a distance.
Chris Plante from CNN reported at 9:42AM that a "huge plume of smoke" was coming from the Pentagon. He said he did not hear an explosion, but does not see the cause of the smoke.

I could go on and on, but needless to say, things have changed in the world because of the attack. Many people have analyzed footage and reports, conspiracy theorists bring up interesting arguments. But in the Qur'an , there is a chapter called "The Shock of the Hour." This, for America, was our shock of the hour. I think atheists said on that day, at that moment, along with believers,

OH MY GOD!!!!

Who Says You Can't Learn Anything From A Fourth- Grader?

Sometimes, my daughter has the most interesting things to share with me about what she has learned at school. I find that I may turn out to be a very intelligent adult if I hang out with her a little bit. For example, she came to me yesterday and said, "Mommy, guess what I just found out? Shrimp have their hearts in their HEAD!!!" I must admit, I was quite surprised, and at a loss for words. If you know me, that in it's self, is surprising.
So today , Aminah (my daughter), informs me that her homework assignment is to write about inventions from the 1950's to the present, and how these inventions have affected our lives. I thought it would be cool to share some of these facts with you, so you can say, "Wow, I never knew that!"

1950- The first credit card (Diners) was invented by Ralph Schnieder.
1951-Charles Ginsburg invented the first video tape recorder.
1952-The first patent for bar code was issued to inventors Joseph Woodland and Bernard Silver. Also, Edward Teller and team build the hydrogen bomb.
1953- David Warren invented the black box flight recorder.
1954-oral contraceptives invented - the pill.
1956-Bette Nesmith Graham invented "Mistake Out," later renamed Liquid Paper. She was also the mother of Michael Nesmith, of "The Monkees."
1959-Jack Kilby and Robert Noyce both invent the microchip.
1962,1963 - The audio cassette and video disk were invented. I remember hearing Quincy Jones
saying in an interview that he saw these at a laboratory in Holland in 1962, and he was told that they couldn't release the compact disk for another twenty years.Also, silicone breast implants by Dow Corp.
1965- soft contact lenses invented, also NutraSweet. Kevlar was invented by Stephanie Louise Kwoick.
1969- the arpanet (first internet) was invented, along with the artificial heart, and our old friend, the A.T.M., were invented.
1971-The liquid crystal display (L.C.D.) was invented by James Fergason, the microprocessor by Faggin, Hoff, and Mazor, also the videocassette was invented.
1974- The post-it notes were invented by Arthur Fry. Let's thank Giorgio Fischer for inventing liposuction.
1978- The artificial heart, Jarvik 7 was invented by Robert K.Jarvik.
1979- Cell phones and the Walkman were invented.
1984- The Apple Macintosh invented.
1985- Windows program invented by Microsoft.
1988 - Digital cellular phones, Doppler radar by Christian Andreas Doppler, and Prozac was invented by Ray Fuller at the Eli Lilly Company.
1990- The World Wide Web, internet protocol (HTTP), AND WWW language (HTML), were created by Tim Berners-Lee
Looking at just a few of the things that were invented, I leave you with the question my daughter asked me, "Mommy, do you remember what you were doing BEFORE you had a computer, cell phone, and DVD player?"
I think I was just existing, but happier.
AND HAD A LOT MORE MONEY!!!

I'll bring A toothbrush that has toothpaste dispensed from inside. to the slammer

A toothbrush that has toothpaste dispensed from inside.
I know what my breath smells like in the morning, and I can't guarantee they will hook me up with one.

AN 8G MP-3 PLAYER WITH ALL MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC AND THE HOLY QUR'AN DOWNLOADED IN IT.
I can't live without listening to Michael everyday, but most importantly, I can't live without God.

My hair pick.
I refuse to live a year having my hair looking like Don King.

Thanks For The Memories - Project Runway

I was so excited about this evening. One of my favorite shows was back on the air, Project Runway. The show was always innovative, aggravating, inspiring, capitvating, and on the end of your seat, fabulous. But unfortunately, they have lost a viewer of the show. I'm sorry. I was in agreement of their criticing of the designers who did not make it to the final four. Chris, I was very surprised (pleasantly) of his collection. Sweet Pea, I thought her collection was, yes, sweet, and wonderfully designed. But now, remember, who is supposed to wear the winner's clothes on the red carpet - none other than Nicole Kidman!!! What drugs were these so- called judges taking when they choose Daniel's collection over Korto's? Could the vast amount of American women wear his clothes, NO!!! I thought they were horrible compared to his collection that he showed during his previous appearance. Korto's designs were BEAUTIFUL,FEMININE,
STYLISH,AND RED CARPET WORTHY! Could it be that the work of a Black designer, Black woman designer, is not worthy of Nicole Kidman?
I shudder to think such thoughts.

When I'm a multi-millionaire, some homeless people need a start; Here's how I would help.

Homeless in Sugamo 2

I would take half of the money to build a fifty room apartment building to house the homeless. I have always said that if I ever came across that kind of money, that's what I would do. I would let fifty people in need to live there rent free for one year, with utilites included. Within that year, the person would have to find a job, and establish an bank account. The purpose of that is for them to have an address. You can not obtain a job without having an address or a home. The person would have to hold on to that job a minimum of six months and with good standings. I feel that many who are homeless are so used to not being responsible, this is one way of having them come back into society with their heads held high. After the year is over, they must move on to establish their lives, and give someone else the opportunity that they were given.

OKAY!!!I HAVEN'T SEEN "GREASE!" SO SHOOT ME!!!

OH MY GOD!!!! You have no idea how many people walk away from me when they realize that I haven't seen this movie. It's not that I haven't seen it. I have. Just not all the way through. You know , five minutes here, two minutes there. I don't know, maybe it's because seeing Olivia Newton John with black spandex pants and smoking a cigarette is slightly disturbing. You would understand when one remembers her singing "I Honestly Love You," looking all goody two shoes. Or maybe it's seeing John Travolta wriggling and stuff. I don't know, maybe someday I will. But for now, I shall suffer a martyr's fate, and withstand the blacklash.

P.S. I also haven't seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." NOW THERE!!!!

Playbill News: President Obama Presents Rivera with Medal of Freedom Aug. 12

Playbill News: President Obama Presents Rivera with Medal of Freedom Aug. 12

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'Silence of the Lambs' was one scary movie!

Anthony Hopkins made this movie UNBELIEVABLY frightening. The thought that fava beans and chianti can make dinner scary is all the more bad when put together with liver. Needless to say, liver was, and still is not a part of my diet.

I think the whole psychological nature of the movie, the lighting, music, and the seemingly fragile, yet brilliantly strong portrayal by Jodie Foster, makes this movie the best.

Never has a psychopath been sooo cultured, sooo refined, soooo Hungry!!!!

'Morning Glow' is on my summer soundtrack

Morning Glow by Michael Jackson

Being I live in Miami, one can't think of a better song to start the day with. Michael's singing is so beautiful and pure, the song makes you want to run outside and breathe in the fresh air.

Human Nature by Michael Jackson

Perfect song to have playing in a convertable on South Beach.

2000 Watts by Michael Jackson

This song has the must pumping bass line, you have to roll down the windows of your car! If you don't already have hydrolics on you car, the sound from your system will make your car bump and jump!!!

Is It Me, Or Do You All Don't Get It?

I just don't understand. What is the difficulty that people have with Michael Jackson? I know many of you are about sick of hearing his name, seeing his pictures, and hearing his songs. But obviously, there is interest in him because the media won't drop it. It is like people want verification that the man was a "freak," or somehow different from the rest of us.

Well, he was different from the rest of us. We, will never be able to fully comprehend what this man went through in his life, and perhaps that was designed by God. Michael had a life that started out the same that every child born in the inner city, up until the age of five. After that, the father of Michael, changed the course of this boy's life forever. He wanted his sons to live the life that he was not able to live, have the kind of career that he was not able to have.

I'm listening to speculation that Michael was a drug addict. Well, it is obvious that going through what he went through in 2006-2007, I would have issues also, and probably would have been on something also. Whether it be drugs, or alcohol, shopping, or some other vice to help me forget the hell that I was made to go through.

Bottom line, this man was dying a slow death since the molestation trial, aggravated by the stress of producing fifty shows after being out of the touring world for about nine years. I just think that Allah said, "Come home, my son. You've done enough, and you've done well."

Lastly, who are we to determine what makes a father? I frankly don't care if Michael is the biological father to his three children (though I believe he is ).In the eyes and hearts of the children, he WAS TRULY their father. We could only wish that we could be the kind of parent Michael was, and I don't think he spoiled them. I think he must have been the funniest, coolest father anyone could have. He had a nanny and others that were a support team for him, but Michael raised those children. I don't think Michael would have been able to take care of those children under the influence of ten Xanex pills a day. Do you?

So in the words of our beloved prophet Michael Jackson, "Why you wanna trip on me?"

Lastly, to the media, the children are going to hear of what you are saying about their father, eventually. Get a grip, and tone down the sensationalism and tabloid junk that increases your profit margin and makes a easy buck for you. Damming Michael may make you money now, but you will reap what you sow later.

Thank You Peter King. NOT!!

Congressman Peter King did a wonderful thing the other day. He showed that bigotry, hatred, and ignorance gives power to the good in man. Because of his insensitive words about Michael Jackson, he helped the people of the world show the beauty of Michael by showing our love to him. I'm sure there are some who feel that Mr. King was speaking the truth. But the billions of people around the world proved that the naysayers in the world are dwarfed by us who love and support Michael.

Mr. King. Michael Jackson is not, nor has been a freak, pedophile, or child molester. I would have no problem having my six-year old son sleep in the same bed with Michael, nor my nine-year old daughter. You, however, are another story. I wouldn't have you near my children if you gave me a million dollars. Once again, you take the event of another Black man who has captured the attention of the world, to siphon attention to you. I must say, you lost big and only proved one thing, once and for all.....

You are hateful, mean spirited, and sad.

Michael, I think would agree that you are right that police officers, firefighters, and our military personnel should be thought of as heroes. The needy in the world do deserve a voice in the world. He would totally agree with you. However, he has been teaching that for years, showing people that we should love and help one another. Michael has contributed hundreds of millions of dollars towards charities throughout the world and in America, without making an announcement about it. That is how it should be done, according to the Bible. In the words of Janet Jackson, 'What have you done for me, lately?"

What Five People Would I Invite To Dinner?

Michael Jackson
He is the one famous person whom I have always wanted to REALLY meet. I just want to talk to him about what inspired him and what did he do to gain spiritual strength through adversity.

Eleanor Roosevelt
She was a fascinating and deeply insiprational woman whom I have always admired.She was cool for a woman when a woman's voice was not taken seriously and she never held back. Being a white woman, she was a great helper in the cause for civil rights for Black people in America.

Marlon Brando
Just because he has a lot of knowledge of the motion picture industry and all of its secrets. To me, he was one of the most beautiful people to grace the screen.

Tina Turner
She is probably one of the only people alive whom I would like to meet. She is a survivor, a worldly woman, and someone who I would like to be like when I grow up. I'm forty-six.

President Barack Obama
Just because he is who he is, and his story is one I want my son to have burned in his mind. He has made it possible for Black children to be anything they want to be, if they work hard and fight for truth and justice. But most importantly, BE KIND AND BE YOURSELF.

First Lady Michelle Obama
She is the perfect example of a beautiful, highly intelligent, and classy Black woman. Every Black girl should use her as an model towards success. Plus, the President is nothing without her and her input. She does not seem to be the "quiet" First Lady.

I Just Don't Get It

I see it everywhere. I know the meaning of it. I see them struggle with them. I even want to help them with their problem.

WHAT'S UP WITH THE DROOPING PANTS!!!!

It's bad enough to see guys doing it, but stupid females are dropping the pants. I know, Iknow. It started in the prisons. As the prisoners lost weight from being behind bars, because they were not allowed to have belts,sans the drooping pants. But then it progressed(or digressed) to a signal to other inmates that you were ready and available, if you know what I mean. Now this is what I've been told, and so this trend came out of the prisons to the public, and now we have a epidemic of exposed underwear, briefs, boxers, and G-strings.

Now I don't want to get gross, but I'm sure it has entered many minds. If we are seeing butt cracks, how many of these people are properly wiping themselves?! YYUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!! I don't even want to know.

How I'd spend $1,000

CLOTHES, CLOTHES, CLOTHES, and more CLOTHES!!!! I must say that I do not treat myself enough when it comes to clothes, and shoes. Knowing the places I know that have quality clothing at affordable prices, $1,000 can get me far. Now that I think about it, I'd spend $800.00 on clothes and shoes, and $200.00 to download songs on my MP-3 player.